As I enter the later part of my 20’s, I decided to write a post on where I’ve been so that as I grow, my platform grows with me. When I thought about turning 25, I knew I wanted to do something other than just eat cake and take shots all night. While I am still freely and gladly accepting those things, I knew I needed something that reflected my purpose, my passions and something I could look back at and say AYYYEE I DID THAT! I know you’re thinking “here goes another blog” and that the market is oversaturated and dead, but my mantra here at Taroltime.com is to “Bring Journalism back again.” So even if one of ya’ll reads this and says DAMN, I could relate, I know my job is done. Without talking much further, let’s get into what my early 20’s taught me.
1. Chase Purpose – Not Money
We are told that so much of our twenties needs to spent “gettin’ to the money, ” and “chasin a bag,” before you know it, you’re 40 and tired. Don’t get me wrong, money = financial freedom, but you can’t put a price on being spiritually free and fulfilled. Take the time to find your purpose and pursue that even if it has to temporarily coincide with your 9-5. The rest will come.
2. Learn how to manage your money
Realistically speaking, the later part of my twenties will be spent catching up and trying to get ahead on some of the careless financial decisions I made in my early 20’s. Read up on investment blogs, budgeting and learn how to manage your spending habits early so you won’t have to later.
3. Speak TF up
If something isn’t right, say something! Speak tf up! Don’t be afraid to speak on your emotions because you think it’s vulnerable or weak. And don’t allow your age to psych you out of opportunities / accept less than you deserve. Yeah you might be young, but you’re more than capable! Yeah you might be emotional but it doesn’t mean you’re weak. Speak up and let that be known. And if you don’t know something ASK! Remember, the squeaky wheel gets the oil so speak tf up!
4. Let go of Relationships that no longer serve you.
But I loveeeee him , but we have history, but we’ve been DOWN for so long, but he/she just “gets me.” But But But. Stop it! Believe me I’ve heard it allllll and even worse I’ve said it all (I still do). So I won’t judge you. However your partner should NOT be some sort of pity party trophy you award yourself. I learned if I wanted to do better in all aspects of my life, I had to take a harsh look at my relationships too. No excuse negates the fact that toxic relationships are toxic. How you gon’ win when you ain’t right within? Cut it, let it go, and realize dead weight holds you down.
5. Friends can be toxic too
Just because you’ve had a “best friend” for xyz years doesn’t mean they’re not toxic or detrimental to your growth as a person. Not everyone is meant to make it through every stage of life with you. Let’s repeat that… Not everyone is meant to make it through every stage of life with you. To some extent, you should idolize certain parts about every friend you have. I know I do. I can’t stress enough the importance of keeping the right company. Pay attention to the kinds of conversations and activities you engage in with certain friend groups. Do they leave you empowered and inspired or drained and tired? Are they a positive light when you’re feeling dark… or do they fall short on being a reliable person to lean on? It’s okay to silently break up with friends too.
6. Learn to say NO!
In my early 20’s (and even now) I cringe at having to say no or cancel a dinner plan I’ve already committed to. I want to be involved, I don’t want fomo and I want to be around. Not to mention, I don’t want to be a flake. But Because I want to do so much and still have to manage my adult responsibilities, I leave little time to myself. Self preservation is a very real thing and with that so is learning to say the word NO. Which brings me to my next point
7. Find balance
Learning the balance between grind and party time has been no friend of mine. But it’s essential to your life as a twenty something. Usually, I find myself going off the deep end with one or the other. Which results in major burn out or me beating myself up to the point of no return. The end result is a downward spiral that gets hard to pull yourself out. Sounds dramatic I know but it’s real life and I’m not scared to admit it. Learn that balance and listen to your body when it’s time to focus on one over the other. More importantly….. Learn to say NO when you need to.
8. You’re going to be unstable and that’s okay.
Part of me at 22 / 23 thought I was grown and had it all figured out! I had my lil boyfriend, had my lil job, partied with my lil friends and just knew this was IT! lol, what a joke. While it’s hard to accept, life is going to throw some shit at you. And in return your 20’s will be filled with uncertainty. What’s important is that you learn to love ALL of the uncertainty and charge it to the game. Realize that with instability comes a ton of flexibility. At this age you can make yourself into anything you want to! If you can harness that energy and make it work than you can divide and conquer! To be honest, the person who has it all figured out… is a person who knows nothing. The learning should never stop!
9. Be direct when talking to people
Be specific and transparent in your interactions with others. That goes for friends, coworkers, employers and even the barista at your favorite coffee shop. For example, instead of saying “I tried a new place to eat this weekend and it was so good,” say “I went to Chic fil a on Saturday and their spicy crispy sandwich was the bomb.com!” When people ask what you do for fun don’t just say “I like to go out.” Out where? To do what? Oh you like to go uptown and dance Salsa till the morning? Cool, but say that upfront. When you’re less ambiguous, people are more inclined to listen, engage and relate.
10. Explore the things that make you Happy
This is probably the most cliché of all the things I’ve had to say, but your early 20’s is a time of Serious exploration and your first taste of “adulting.” Don’t hold back on the things you want to experience. Don’t let anyone tell you what makes you happy isn’t real and don’t wait until you have someone to experience that happiness with. Book that solo trip, listen to music everyone else calls “weird” and blast that shiiiii. As long as you’re not hurting anyone (or yourself) your happiness should always come first and exploring that should be no different.
Bonus! – Live in your truth.
As we go though life, trauma’s and life experiences change us. Instead of thinking, why did this happen to me think, what is this trying to tell me. Don’t try to hide or conceal your mistakes, that’s part of your truth. Live in it and don’t apologize. On the flip side, there’s been times I’ve was pissed tf off by a person and their actions. But I had to stop taking it personal and tell myself this person is just living in their truth and since there’s nothing I can do to change that, I should do the same. If that means it compromises who’s in my life, than those people weren’t for me! 🙂
Thank you for reading and sharing a piece of my birthday with me!